asdfhdsysdafhkLOST.

yesturday i played a song. it sounded really pretty..
today i played the same song. it sounded different..

i wish i had something that i could keep throughout all the seasons, something that i could stick with.. something that wouldn't change for the worse, but only get better in time. i want to know what its like to have something or someone that'd never leave me. someone that maybe actually cared, or atleast wanted to. i want to know what it feels like to be wanted and needed for a change, to maybe feel appreciated? and to feel like maybe what i'm doing is right and that i'm not doing anything wrong. i want to know what it's like for someone to actually be proud of me for what i do, not yell at me cause i could of did better. i want to be worth something to somebody else. i want to be enough so that i wouldn't feel like such a complete failure. tell me what i'm doing wrong..

i realized that things change before you even realize they do. people change and people walk out of your life. im hoping that all the right people will stay with me throughout everything..

i feel so lost in my own thoughts. i kind of wish i knew where i was going with everything that i'm feeling right now. i feel like i'm always ending up at the same place as where i began, going in a huge circle. but for now, i just feel so worthless. i can't do anything right anymore..

i wish
i wish
i wish
that ...
maybe things would of been


different
different
different



one day i'll be enough

for

someone.


but

for now
for now
for now




"It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?" - Christopher Gardner.




empty.
dissapointed.
maybe even angry.